I tell you what: it is a strange and curious thing to move back to your hometown in mid-life. I’m trying to keep track of the curiosities, because keeping track of things is my wont and also because I think there’s some wisdom to be gained and shared in cross-cultural experiences like the one I’m living.
I grew up in Appalachia, surrounded by the Blue Ridge mountains of Southwest Virginia, traditional lands of the Monacan people. But I left a couple of decades ago, and have lived in Atlanta, the Chicago suburbs, Northern Virginia (an entirely different place than Southwestern Virginia, in case you are unaware), and Durham. Those are all big places. Without mountains.
I’ve been back here regularly, if not consistently, through all those years, since most of my extended family is here and I have always, always missed my mountains. But visiting, even for a week at a time, is very different than settling in and living here. I’ve been here four weeks, now, and even though I’m still in transition and not yet in my own permanent place, here are a few observations. And a few entries for the Moving Home playlist along the way.
the mountains are everywhere.
Like, EVERYWHERE. I am sitting on my parents’ couch, looking out their front window at the neighborhood mountain. Every time I leave the house, I am struck, again, with the beauty, because the mountains are THERE - in the grocery store parking lot, on the horizon at the rush-hour traffic light, from my cousin’s back deck, my aunt’s kitchen window, my favorite local park. And this is mountains in WINTER! At least once a day, I say, out loud, to no one other than myself, “IT’S JUST SO FUCKING BEAUTIFUL.” I can’t help the cursing; it’s just so fucking beautiful here. Everywhere. All the time.
people read differently.
Obviously, a library card was one of the first official items on my moving to-do list. In Durham, a city of READERS, the library was fan-freaking-tastic. Well-patronized, well-funded, and guaranteed to have whatever book I wanted to read - as long as I was willing to wait for it. The day I renewed my Roanoke Valley Libraries card - the system is a joint venture between several regional counties and cities - I plucked Kiley Reid’s “Come And Get It,” published THE WEEK BEFORE right off the front shelf and took it home. I has a 13-week wait for my hold of Laurie Frankel’s “Family Family” (highly recommend!) in the Durham Libby app, but when I requested it from the RVL it arrived in three days (and I think that lag was just because there aren’t many library couriers working). I think this particular difference is going to work in my favor.
my whole family lives here.
My sister went furniture shopping with me. Fran has spent real, quality time with her great-aunt&uncle BFFs. I’ve already got a standing weekly date with a 10 year old cousin, seen my nephew play basketball on a random Tuesday, and had my dinner provided, in one way or another, nearly every other day. Even my cousin who doesn’t live in town was in town and stopped by with her daughter and my Girl Scout cookie order. This might not be a cultural difference, but it sure is *different.*
i do not understand the racial dynamics. or politics.
I can’t even explain what I mean, because I don’t understand, yet. Durham is a fairly radical place, and that shaped me to have certain expectations around who should be involved in decision-making (the Durham County Commissioners are all women, majority women of color), what the purpose of local government is (the HEART program has become a model nationwide), and, generally, what’s possible in civic life (last week, the Durham City Council passed a resolution urging a ceasefire in Gaza; years ago, the city was the first to divest from Israeli law-enforcement training programs). Roanoke is not Durham, and I am trying to pay attention and learn how things work, here…and find people doing the work.
You know, I grew up in the beautiful Shenandoah Valley and I love the beauty. But the politics of the rural areas is a hard one for me. I think if I was living back there I would have to search for kindred spirits or I would go crazy.
Dana, do you have any recs for substacks on racial equity and/or by BIPOC? I've only recently been using the platform but lately my subscriptions have felt overwhelmingly white lady feminism and I want to change that. Thanks!!