Psalm 51 is beautiful. Just gorgeous. It’s the height of biblical poetry, which is probably why it shows up in liturgy and prayer so often. It’s a penitential psalm - the psalmist is praying to be forgiven and transformed. “have mercy on me, O God,” she pleads. “Let me hear joy and gladness; let the bones that you have crushed rejoice” - now there’s a phrase to be parsed for years on end.
But the part that lives in my spirit is the fourth stanza:
Create in me a clean heart, O God,
and put a new and right spirit within me.
11 Do not cast me away from your presence,
and do not take your holy spirit from me.
12 Restore to me the joy of your salvation,
and sustain in me a willing spirit.
It’s just so evocative, to think about my heart being scrubbed, receiving a “new and right” spirit, being RESTORED to JOY.
This psalm, when read in the context of a substitutionary, penitential theology built on shame (maybe do a little internal audit of your own faith, this Lenten season, to see how much of what you believe is anchored in human sin instead of the divinity of human createdness…), can be pretty rough. Depending on how we’ve heard the gospel preached, we might come away from this prayer with the sense that who we are, now, is worthless and worm-y, desperate to be made into something altogether new.
But the language in this psalm is not the language of punishment and destruction.
“Have mercy on me, O God, according to your steadfast love; according to your abundant mercy blot out my transgressions,” the prayer says.
This psalmist knows that her confession is a part of something larger. She expects God to work transformation. The Hebrew word translated here as “steadfast love” is “hesed,” other places translated as goodness, kindness, or faithfulness, and always linked to the covenantal relationship between God and God's people. The psalmist starts her confession by putting it in the context of this ongoing, intimate relationship that God maintains with her and her people.
And, the word translated as “mercy” is raham, which is a word rooted in the hebrew word for “womb.” According to the mercy of your womb, blot out my transgressions. The psalmist is appealing to God's mother-love, that eternal connection rooted in creation and compassion. The psalmist is confessing to God in the context of an eternal, steadfast, womb-like connection.
This psalm is not a prayer to be destroyed and re-built from scratch; it is a cry for help to the one who created us in his own image, a plea for God to recognize and remember the eternal relationship we share and pull us back into alignment with one another.
The band Che Apalache, started by a bluegrass musician from Winston-Salem who moved to Buenos Aires and ended up forming a band with Argentinians and Mexicans, throwing banjos together with latin folk beats. (Go listen to them and just try not to dance at your desk.) The band named their second album “Rearrange My Heart.” The title song is what I imagine a modern-day Appalachian version of Psalm 51 might be:
Rearrange my heart, Lord
Help me to be grateful
You alone can help me through
This solitary life
Reconstruct my soul, Lord
Fill me with elation
You alone can help me through
The darkness of my night
Over and under down life’s weary way
My heart is blissful each step that I take
For I entrust my earthly soul to God
I moved into a new apartment this weekend. The building is very old, and it has been beautifully reconstructed. My stuff is all the same stuff that’s been in storage for the last few weeks, but I’ve been rearranging it here in this new, reconstructed place, and it feels both comfortingly familiar and surprisingly new. Amazing, isn’t it, how old things find new life when they’re treated with care and compassion and curiosity.
Rearrange my heart, God. Reconstruct my soul. Restore my joy. Return us to our right relationship. Remember me.
I was guest preaching yesterday - at a church that I regularly preach at and did quote you - with credit - and illustrated my own journey with your work - I didn't know that I felt shame but I totally did and this being told by you, I didn't have too...was really freeing. The congregation has a talk back time and everyone talked - this work was freeing for everyone, Dana. It was a holy moment that you started. Thank you!
Thanks Dana. This is so helpful to me, and the song lyrics are incredible.